Early in my career I joined the YEO, a group of business owners under 40 who had built companies doing a million dollars or more in sales. I was a brand new member.

There was one guy in the group, Mike, whose annual sales were 500 times mine. After a meeting, Mike asked if I would like to grab a coffee. I said sure.

As we walked to the local coffee place, I kept wondering, “What could he possibly need help or advice from me on?”

Mike dove right in. He asked me amazing questions about my business, shared some life advice I still appreciate, and gave me several incredible ideas I had never thought of.

Next, Mike named three or four people and asked if I knew them. I knew of all of them, but I didn’t actually know them. He said, “Joe, I think those would be good people for you to network with. If you’d like, I’d be pleased to make the introductions in the coming days. I’ll email them and CC you.”

Over the next week I had four warm calls with new prospective clients, all from Mike’s introductions.

It wasn’t until my drive home that it hit me. Mike never asked me to coffee for my advice or my help.

All he cared about was helping me.

No one had ever asked me to coffee just to help me. That changed my life. I decided that day I would always do my best to be that guy: the one who networks with the other person in mind.

Being “that guy” today

The tools have changed since that coffee. You can find almost anyone on LinkedIn in seconds, and AI assistants will draft a hundred outreach messages for you. My advice: use technology to find the right people, but make the help personal. A thoughtful introduction or a useful idea always beats a message that sounds like it came off an assembly line.

Next time you sit down for coffee, in person or on video, ask yourself one question: how can I help this person?

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