“The Network!” Newsletter Issue # 138

Hang On To Your Hardest To Find

Good Morning,

I hope you had a nice 4th of July and the early summer is treating you well. Here’s an updated list of Positions Available and Talent for Hire. But first, here are the results of our recent survey and, have a look at some of the people we have been ruling out for you…

Hardest to Fill Position

We asked 1000 Bay Area CFO’s what’s the hardest to fill position? Here’s what they said.

SURVEY RESULTS:

Hardest to fill position:

*26% said Managers/Directors with Specific Systems experience: Oracle, Peoplesoft, Hyperion, JD Edwards, SAP, Platinum, Great Plains, Solomon etc. etc.

*17% said High level Tax, Manager/Director

*16% said Controller

*16% said High level Financial Reporting/SEC Manager/Director

*14% said Cost Accounting Manager/Director

*9% said Treasury Management, Treasurer, Treasury Manager, Cash Manager

*2% said FP&A Manager/Director

Real Unbelievable Resumes

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine:

1. “I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.”

2. “I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.”

3. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”

4. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”

5. “Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”

6. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”

7. “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”

8. “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”

9. “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”

10. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”

11. “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”

12. “Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”

13. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”

14. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs…Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”

15. “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”

16. “My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”

17. “I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”

18. “As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”

19. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”

20. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

21. “Note: Please don’t miscontrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”

22. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”

23. “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.”

24. “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”

25. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”

26. “References: None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”

 

Prosperity belongs to those who learn new things the fastest.
~ Paul Zane Pilzer

Warm Regards,
Joe Pelayo

Joe Pelayo, C.P.C.
Joseph Michaels International
Global Recruiting Solutions
(800) 786-1099
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://josephmichaels.wpengine.com
One of the top 75 Recruiters in the United States ~ Recruiter Life Magazine

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